Sometimes I feel alone. Not lost in the woods as it is getting dark alone, but the kind of alone that can come in a crowd. I can’t feel the connection. I can’t get to the right person to let them know how I am feeling. And would they understand what I was saying?
I’m sure I am not the only one feeling this way. Yesterday I saw a woman sitting by herself on a picnic table in the sun. It was a stunning mid-September day with a deep blue sky and a warm breeze. I have sat at picnic benches by myself and felt anything but alone. I can sit there and be grateful for the space I am occupying; I can feel a connection to my surroundings. I feel the sun on my face, I connect with the breeze that is blowing my short, I listen to the birds calling from the trees.
That is not alone.
Alone is the woman at the picnic bench, smoking a cigarette, staring at her phone. We all do it. The mindless swiping, waiting, and hoping that the next video, meme, or motivational phrase with connect us with another person.
We are often disappointed.
We would have better luck finding the connection with the sunshine, breeze, and birds than with the electronic device in our hands.
I don’t know the answer. I guess if I am living this life, there are going to be times that I am not feeling great. Times that I am alone. Times that I stare at my phone and hope it solves my problems.
I know it won’t help me find what I am looking for.
Instead of looking down, I am going to look up. At the clouds, at the birds, at the sunshine. If that can’t help me feel less alone, maybe it can help to remind me of how lucky I am to exist in that space. Gratitude can go a long way.